Could it be...

really this long since I posted here dear Ellie. On Jan 9th 2011 Sofie Faye was born healthy and beautiful. I know Ellie you were there with us too. I know you had a hand in making this miracle happen and somewhere inside of Sofie I know you exist too. I still think about you all the time. I havent forgotten. In a few days it will be the second anniversary of your birth. I keep thinking about what to do yet nothing seems fitting. Nothing takes away the pain of not having you here with us. I wonder if you can feel me where you are. Do you know how much your Dad and I love you and how much we continue to think about you. Sometimes, like right now it hurts so bad inside. I am so sorry that I didnt hold you when you were born. It was my only chance and I let it go out of fear. I so wish I could take it back and do it differently. I just didnt think I could survive it at the time. Please know how much you are still loved. I look forward to the day that we will meet again. You are in my heart and every thought that I take. I am always your mother my dear Ellie.